When we say that
it’s important for children to develop a sense of security, what do we really
mean? Well,
when a child feels secure, he or she feels safe. This is not just a sense of
physical safety, although that’s extremely important. But, it is also a feeling
of emotional safety and security. Children need to feel that it is okay for
them to express their emotions. It’s okay to feel. They also need to feel that their lives are stable. That is why kids need to have a routine and
a consistent and stable atmosphere. They should know that their needs will be
met and that the people around them will make sure that they are kept safe.
A sense of security ensures a feeling of stability and consistency. So, when a
child feels this way, it means that the child feels that his or her caregivers
are dependable, reliable, and have genuine care for the little one.
Now that we have discussed what it means for your child to have a true sense of
security, let’s talk a little bit about why it is important for your children
to feel more secure. When children develop a sense of security, they will experience the benefits throughout many different areas of their
lives. Security helps to develop emotional, mental, and physical health. We’ve
mentioned that children who feel secure can feel freer to express their
emotions. But this is just one of the benefits of having a sense of security.
Children who feel secure also:
* Develop a sense and knowledge of boundaries. This allows the children to know
and feel that their homes and families are practicing consistency. As a result,
your children will feel respected and develop a sense of respect for you.
* Feel that they can trust you. When children have a sense of security, they
know that they can trust you. They know that you will meet their needs and they
don’t have to worry. Trust is an extremely important part of feeling secure.
*. Gain healthy relationships with others. A sense of security can help
individuals to feel more comfortable when they encounter and interact with
other people. So, your children may connect better with their peers as well as
the other adults in their lives as a result of feeling secure and safe.
* Have more self-confidence. Children who have a real feeling of security tend
to feel more comfortable with who they are. They feel less afraid to learn
about themselves and their world. And they are not fearful about growing up and
developing into the people they are meant to be in the future.
CHILD’S RIGHT
Children are among the
most vulnerable members of society and need special protection. Nearly 20
million children live in our country, and it's our shared responsibility as
parents, families, communities, and government to ensure that all of our
children are safe from harm and grow up in nurturing environments. To ensure
this, children have special legal rights which are enforced by the state.
little-boy-and-girl-playing-together-in-the-classroom.
What are children’s rights?
Children’s
rights are entrenched in the act (2003) These rights are in the best interest of
all children under the age of 18 years old.
The drafters of our Constitution have made children's rights a priority. When
it comes to any matter affecting a child’s well-being, the Constitution states
that the best interests of a child are of paramount importance.
Understanding Children’s rights
Section 28 of the Bill of Rights, entitled "Children", says:
Every child has the right to:
*
A name and nationality from birth.
* Family care or parental care, or appropriate alternative care when removed
from the family environment.
* Basic nutrition, shelter, basic health care services, and social services.
* Be protected from maltreatment, neglect, abuse, or degradation.
Be protected from exploitative labour practices.
* Not be required or permitted to perform work or provide services that are
inappropriate for a person of that child's age or risk the child's well-being,
education, physical or mental health, or spiritual, moral, or social development.
* Not be detained except as a measure of last resort, in which case, in
addition to the rights a child enjoys under sections 12 and 35, the child may
be detained only for the shortest appropriate period of time, and has the right
to be kept separately from detained persons over the age of 18 years.
* Be treated in a manner, and kept in conditions, that take account of the
child's age and have a legal practitioner assigned to the child by the state,
and at state expense, in civil proceedings affecting the child, if substantial
injustice would otherwise result.
* Not be used directly in armed conflict and to be protected in times of armed
conflict
* the right to family care, love, and protection and the responsibility to show
love
PARENTING
Parenting implies child
rearing, and child nurturing, in fact, it's all processes involved in grooming a
child to be useful to you and the society at large.
Parenting is like a pottery house where the potter (Parents)
takes the clay (The Child) and makes it into something else he desired. The
manner and process in which the clay is molded will be determined by the
outcome.
God gave parents the responsibility of raising kids that are mentally strong, well-to-do, successful, and well-rounded because kids are not born with manuals, we
have different ways of parenting.
Diana Baumrind, a developmental
psychologist, and Stanford researchers Eleanor Maccoby and John
Martin outlined 4 parenting styles.
Each parenting style has different
effects on children's behavior and can be identified by certain
characteristics, as well as degrees of responsiveness (the extent to which
parents are warm and sensitive to their children's needs) and demandingness
(the extent of control parents put on their children in an attempt to influence
their behavior).
1. The Permissive Parent
Common traits:
i. High
responsiveness, low demandingness
ii. Communicates
openly and usually lets their kids decide for themselves, rather than giving
direction
iii. Rules and
expectations are either not set or rarely enforced
iv. Typically goes
to great lengths to keep their kids happy, sometimes at their own expense
Permissive parents are likelier to
take on a friendship role, rather than a parenting role, with their kids. They
prefer to avoid conflict and will often acquiesce to their children's pleas at
the first sign of distress. These parents mostly allow their kids to do what
they want and offer limited guidance or direction.
2. The Authoritative Parent
Common traits:
i. High responsiveness,
high demandingness
ii. Sets clear rules
and expectations for their kids while practicing flexibility and understanding
iii. Communicates
frequently; they listen to and take into consideration their children's
thoughts, feelings, and opinions
iv. Often struggles with their own
self-esteem issues and has a hard time forming close relationships
Authoritative parents are nurturing, supportive, and often in tune with their
children's needs. They guide their children through open and honest discussions
to teach values and reasoning. Kids who have authoritative parents tend to be
self-disciplined and can think for themselves.
3. The Neglectful Parent
Common traits:
i. Low
responsiveness, low demandingness
ii. Let their kids
mostly fend for themselves, perhaps because they are indifferent to their needs
or are uninvolved/overwhelmed with other things
iii. Offers little
nurturance, guidance, and attention
iv. Allows natural
consequences to occur (e.g., kid fails quiz when they didn't study), but uses
those opportunities to help their kids reflect and learn
Sometimes referred to as uninvolved parenting, this style is exemplified by an
overall sense of indifference. Neglectful parents have limited engagement with
their children and rarely implement rules. They can also be seen as cold and
uncaring — but not always intentionally, as they are often struggling with
their own issues.
4. The Authoritarian Parent
Common traits:
i. High
demandingness, low responsiveness
ii. Enforces strict
rules with little consideration of their kid's feelings or social-emotional and
behavioral needs
iii. Often says
"because I said so" when their kid questions the reasons behind a
rule or consequence
iv. Communication is
primarily one-way — from parent to child
This rigid parenting style uses stern discipline, often justified as
"tough love." In an attempt to be in full control, authoritarian parents
often talk to their children without wanting input or feedback.