PARENTING
Parenting implies child
rearing, and child nurturing, in fact, it's all processes involved in grooming a
child to be useful to you and the society at large.
Parenting is like a pottery house where the potter (Parents)
takes the clay (The Child) and makes it into something else he desired. The
manner and process in which the clay is molded will be determined by the
outcome.
God gave parents the responsibility of raising kids that are mentally strong, well-to-do, successful, and well-rounded because kids are not born with manuals, we
have different ways of parenting.
Diana Baumrind, a developmental
psychologist, and Stanford researchers Eleanor Maccoby and John
Martin outlined 4 parenting styles.
Each parenting style has different
effects on children's behavior and can be identified by certain
characteristics, as well as degrees of responsiveness (the extent to which
parents are warm and sensitive to their children's needs) and demandingness
(the extent of control parents put on their children in an attempt to influence
their behavior).
1. The Permissive Parent
Common traits:
i. High
responsiveness, low demandingness
ii. Communicates
openly and usually lets their kids decide for themselves, rather than giving
direction
iii. Rules and
expectations are either not set or rarely enforced
iv. Typically goes
to great lengths to keep their kids happy, sometimes at their own expense
Permissive parents are likelier to
take on a friendship role, rather than a parenting role, with their kids. They
prefer to avoid conflict and will often acquiesce to their children's pleas at
the first sign of distress. These parents mostly allow their kids to do what
they want and offer limited guidance or direction.
2. The Authoritative Parent
Common traits:
i. High responsiveness,
high demandingness
ii. Sets clear rules
and expectations for their kids while practicing flexibility and understanding
iii. Communicates
frequently; they listen to and take into consideration their children's
thoughts, feelings, and opinions
iv. Often struggles with their own
self-esteem issues and has a hard time forming close relationships
Authoritative parents are nurturing, supportive, and often in tune with their
children's needs. They guide their children through open and honest discussions
to teach values and reasoning. Kids who have authoritative parents tend to be
self-disciplined and can think for themselves.
3. The Neglectful Parent
Common traits:
i. Low
responsiveness, low demandingness
ii. Let their kids
mostly fend for themselves, perhaps because they are indifferent to their needs
or are uninvolved/overwhelmed with other things
iii. Offers little
nurturance, guidance, and attention
iv. Allows natural
consequences to occur (e.g., kid fails quiz when they didn't study), but uses
those opportunities to help their kids reflect and learn
Sometimes referred to as uninvolved parenting, this style is exemplified by an
overall sense of indifference. Neglectful parents have limited engagement with
their children and rarely implement rules. They can also be seen as cold and
uncaring — but not always intentionally, as they are often struggling with
their own issues.
4. The Authoritarian Parent
Common traits:
i. High
demandingness, low responsiveness
ii. Enforces strict
rules with little consideration of their kid's feelings or social-emotional and
behavioral needs
iii. Often says
"because I said so" when their kid questions the reasons behind a
rule or consequence
iv. Communication is
primarily one-way — from parent to child
This rigid parenting style uses stern discipline, often justified as
"tough love." In an attempt to be in full control, authoritarian parents
often talk to their children without wanting input or feedback.